Connection of a Different Sort

This month, per my agreement with myself, I have been reading, listening to, ruminating on, and talking about the idea of Connection. Although one of my intentions has been to connect more with others, and I have experienced the joy of some very special reunions and reconciliations, there is another kind of connection that continues to surprise me in its surfacing: the connection to self.

During some recent travel I began reading a book called Quiet Horizons: Releasing Ideology and Embracing Self-Knowledge.

Much of what is in this book resonates with my own thoughts about my life as they have developed in the last few months. I am only nearly halfway through the book, but let me summarize at the highly-likely risk of oversimplifying. The author, my uncle Greg Jemsek, is extolling the importance of knowing yourself outside of what organizations and society may tell you to be and finding your own purpose rather than following the dreams and purposes of others. Uncle Greg , a narrative therapist among other things, describes the psychological reasons why some people are prone to falling victim to “conversion” groups and offers the alternative of self-knowledge as a better path toward empowered fulfillment and community.

In my current situation, I can somedays feel the weighty fog of loneliness in a big city during an era where online relationships and identities (if we can call them that) have supplanted physical connection. But during this month of Here I Am, I am discovering (with the help of wise people who pointed it out) that life is laying out a path for me to connect with myself in a new way instead of struggling to find connection and belonging in others. In fact, I’m beginning to embrace the journey of self-knowledge despite the occasional loneliness as I see it more and more as the groundwork necessary for the authentic relationships I seek. It is time to connect with the bare essentials of ME, to cultivate a more genuine acceptance, even appreciation, of what I bring to this world. And as I do that, I eagerly wait for the unveiling of new connections with others that I’m sure will happen simultaneously.

Are you connecting with yourself? Do you know that every day you are keeping company with a very special person? There is no one like you and there is no one who can bring to this world the particular thing that you bring. There is no one who can tell you what to be and within you is the power to be many many things. So before you make a contract with yourself that your identity is an affiliation — liberal, Catholic, husband, reject, accountant, American — remember that your true identity cannot be bound by any social construct nor its conditions.

How do you “remember” this? Sit down quietly with yourself. Say “Hello” to you. Imagine all the labels of identity falling off of you like clothing. Ask yourself a question that has been nagging you and listen to your essence, your intuition…you DO have wise intuition.  Soak in the truth that there is no other YOU in existence.

Or, wait for me to finish the book and I’ll tell you what an expert suggests you do.

For the time being, be YOU today! The world needs you.

~~~S Wave~~~

Month 5: Connection

Without fear, we are able to see more clearly our connections to others.

Without fear, we have more room for understanding and compassion.

Without fear, we are truly free.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

Welcome to the midpoint of 2013! June brings all kinds of newness with school ending, weather shifting, summer’s potential blossoming, and for me it brings me to a new Here I Am intention. What is Here I Am? Good question. Even I have to remind myself of its purpose and realign myself with the intention behind it. As I defined it before, “It was an inventory of things that I would like to add or alter in my life,” and it is the journey of exploring those things one at a time.

My original Here I Am list looked like this:

My list of intentions

The philosophy behind Here I Am is that it is not necessary to address these things with a heavily legalistic, reward-punishment type of approach to change but through a gentle acceptance of where you are now in life and a childlike curiosity for what it might be like to change the status quo for about a month. So far, I have contemplated and explored my physical health, a sneaky addiction, spiritual vitality, and non-snoozification.

Now it is time to pick the next intention off of my list. If you wonder how I pick them, it is based on a combination of my intuition and the signs that surround me. Together, these guideposts tell me pretty clearly what needs my attention next. And the winner for this month is….Connection!

By “connection” I don’t just mean having closer friends, although that is part of it. I also mean that I want deeper connections with friends–new and old. I want that depth to be spiritual and to serve as a vehicle for growth and good. I also want to feel a connection of love for those I don’t know and especially for those that I specifically have a hard time loving. I want to release myself–at least for this month–to trust people more and to accept my own worth to be connected TO! I want to feel more   community with like-minded people. But most of all, I want to act on my belief that these connections are made not only through my human effort, but also through the laws of attraction that draw us together. Acting on this belief means trusting and expecting that I will see new connections emerging in my life as I intentionally make myself available to them.

So off I go. Here’s to a great month of connection and as always, growth growth growth. I wish for all of you to also experience  an expansion of your own connection to others. Let’s expect together!

Be well!

~~~S Wave~~~

Weekend To-Do-Good List

It has been a while since I posted a Weekend To-Do-Good List. Here are a few actions that you can take to help others while you enjoy your weekend.

1. Want to keep Monsanto from being outside the law? Sign this petition along with hundreds of thousands of others and help Food Democracy Now repeal the Monsanto Protection Act. To find out more about the act, click here.

2. Send aid to those hit hardest in Oklahoma by texting REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation. Or, if you want to give more, click here for other suggestions of how to help.

3.  Put aside your inhibition and over-analysis and give some money or to that person you encounter who looks like they could use it. It’s easy.

4. Help get an app onto your phone that will let you save on all those organic, gluten-free, earth-friendly products you want but can’t always afford. Okay, I won’t lie…this one is near and dear to me. I have been helping a new company, makeena inc, raise money to develop their mobile app software. I couldn’t be more proud to be aligned with such a worthy cause. Food inequality needs to end and giving all shoppers access to healthy foods is part of the solution. If you can contribute just ten dollars it will go a long way toward our goal of $10,000. There are even rewards if you can give more! Visit our fundraising page at www.crowdfunder.com/campaign/393 to contribute. Then rally with us by sharing us with your friends.

As always, it is a pleasure to share this moment online with you. Now go enjoy your weekend!

~~~S Wave~~~

I’m an Artist, You’re an Artist

You may not have heard of them, but that is the point. There are unknown visionaries around every corner creating all kinds of written, visual and performance art and changing the landscape of their own souls, their families, and their communities. Really, we are all artists. Yes, you too! Don’t you think you are creating something that has never been created before this very moment through every word, thought and gesture that you dispatch? Your whole design of (insert your name here) is a piece of art. Accept it. Then, ask yourself what kind of art you are sharing with the world through being you.

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Well, now that you know you’re an artist, let’s turn our attention to a non-profit group called FOKUS. They deserve a big shout of for their  persistent and passionate work toward empowering artists and their communities through art education. In their Insight Magazine, they allow artists of all types to have a moment of recognition, and they have recently done so for Life As a Wave.

After reading, “From one and One” a FOKUS co-founder invited Life As a Wave to take part in an Insight issue themed, Color and Light. When they invited me, I thought, “No, I’m not an artist.” Thank goodness that didn’t last long and I came to my senses (see above paragraph, in case you’ve already forgotten.) This past weekend, the issue was published. I am so humbled to be included on the pages alongside such inspiring pieces. Hellbent’s public art project is my new favorite. You can peruse the magazine by clicking on the cover below. Don’t miss Life As a Wave’s moment in the spotlight on pages 48 and 49.

Tribal Configurations by Joseph Meloy

The Purpose of Connectedness

Here is what I think the ultimate purpose of connectedness is:

This picture has become my inspiration and my reminder of why I meditate, pray, write, reach out, and keep on keepin’ on. Here is what it speaks to me:

1. We are connected in order to help each other rise higher in consciousness and liberation.

2. In higher consciousness we are like children in our openness, curiosity, clarity, and trust.

3. Ascending higher, we begin to leave the baggage of the world behind us. Fears, anxieties, distractions, confusions begin to fall away.

4. In connectedness and higher consciousness we become more free to create beautiful things together which adorns the whole world around us.

Grateful, as always, for you,

~~~S Wave~~~

Higher Selves, For Greater Good

“To live only for some future goal is shallow. It’s the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.”
― Robert M. Pirsig

Where did April go??

I’ve been so so busy and have missed writing for Life As a Wave. It’s a new month which means I should be picking my next Here I Am intention, too. Eek. Ive hardly had time to think about it! (Spoiler alert: it may have something to do with a redesign of this blog, so stay tuned!) Life has been good, and incredibly busy…did I mention that already?? I just posted on our Facebook Page: “I have never worked so hard so happy.” And it’s true!

Yes, jumping man in jeans, that is good advice. The trick though is that you don’t have to wait for a job to make you jump. Jump in gratitude for EVERYTHING ELSE you have to be happy about (there is ALWAYS something) and pretty soon you’ll discover that your job makes you jump too! If it still doesn’t then okay, maybe you need to open up yourself up to the possibility of a new job.

As for me, in the last month I’ve gone from “What is my purpose?!” to “Bring on my purpose!” I’m not going to wait around for a divine calling while squandering my here and now. Every moment we have is part of our purpose. Ask for a purpose and it will introduce itself to you. And don’t you dare restrict yourself to just one purpose. In the last two months I’ve gotten a promotion in my “regular” job as a speech-language pathologist, received a request to manage a major fundraising project for a start-up, been invited to submit a painting to a non-profit arts magazine, and completed an energy-healing class. I’m not tootin’ no horn here! I have simply realized that I am more than just one thing and that my purpose is a story not a title.

Most importantly, I have realized that I can choose to be happy and that I can only do that with the spiritual practices that elevate me above all the potential anxiety and pessimism that would try to drag me down.

So onward and upward, Life As a Wave readers! Your purpose awaits your invitation! I’m going to keep inviting mine and you do the same. Let’s say it together…”Purpose, I invite you into my life TODAY!”

Now together let’s become our highest selves…

for the world’s greatest good.

(your name here)

At peace with myself by Racquel McMullins

Here is an inspired writing I wanted to share with you. It wrote it today as I contemplated and inquired about the social anxieties, fears of perception, and bowing to expectations that we all have experienced at one time or another, some more often than others. They can cripple us so much in our attainment of spiritual and personal growth. What is the answer or nugget of truth that we need to encounter to see these things transformed? Well, I don’t have the answer for that for each person, but I know the words below were part of the answer for me, for this day.

You are a crucial part of this wonderful universe and all of the beautiful parts of you are eagerly waiting to express themselves in freedom and creativity. As you read this poem, try saying it out loud with your name inserted. Remind yourself of who you are.

Today, be (your name here.)

You would be surprised at all the ways you are not being you.

Be (your name here.)

*

When they say

Be this

Do this

Want this

With all their good and bad intentions

Filter it all through the intuition of (your name here.)

Let those things go that are not of (your name here)

For this time.

You will know them when you feel them.

If you need them, they will come back around.

*

Today, all you have to do is

Be (your name here.)

Today, the world needs you to

Be (your name here.)

Cry, Laugh, and Pick Up the Phone

“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”

- The Dalai Lama XIV

It has been a trying week for our nation. In light of the tragedies that we have experienced in Boston and Texas, I  reiterate the importance of connecting with those you love. (See Holidays and Hurricanes from last November.) It seems that through tragedy we do strengthen the bond that we have with others and experience a renewed sense of community.

What else can you do during weeks like this? Cry. I recently heard that tears contain toxins that your body flushes out as you cry. It turns out that a man named William Frey was the first one to discover this. He found that emotional tears (as opposed to other kinds, like those we get from onions) contain the most amount of stress chemicals like leucine-enkephalin and prolactin. Crying also has been linked to lowering heart rate and the production of endorphins. It’s a wonderful thought. I like to think that it is not random that crying “feels” good. Our body—knowing always what we need—is doing something purposeful, not wasteful

On the other side of that coin though is the healing power of laughter. Today was a markedly gloomy day for me compared to the previous 2 months or so. Let’s just say I purged a lot of leucine-enkephalin and prolactin today. At one point while in the car, something crossed my mind that made me chuckle out loud despite my melancholy. I noticed that it felt good. So I tried to think of something else that I knew would make me laugh. So I thought of this:

For some reason it just always makes me laugh. That laguh felt good too. I wanted another and so I recalled one my own recent blog posts, It’s Not That Serious. Then I wanted another laugh and another. I’ve heard of people doing “laughter yoga” and even though I have difficulty picturing a group laughing session, I can see why laughter would be a part of a wellness regiment. Laughter is good for your chemical makeup. Like crying, it produces endorphins. It also relieves muscle tension, strengthens your heart, and boosts your immune system.

After crying and laughing and having a long (and long overdue) phone call with a loved one, all my problems weren’t solved. The world wasn’t nicer. The future wasn’t clearer. Boston wasn’t healed. Those lost in Texas weren’t returned to their loved ones. I hadn’t reconciled all my questions with God. But, I was calmer. My mind wasn’t spinning like it had been most of the day. I felt loved. I felt more hopeful.

So don’t forget to let yourself cry if you need to. Yes, even you men! Let your body clean itself out. And then don’t forget to laugh. Can’t think of anything to laugh about? Then find your nearest Laughter Yoga class. And if all that doesn’t work, call someone you love and let the mysterious and beautiful human connection heal you a little bit. It will most likely heal them too.

Have a beautiful Sunday. As always, I am so thankful for YOU.

~~~S Wave~~~

The Opposite of Love

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

- Saint John

We teach that hate is the opposite of love, but I’ve been thinking that it is actually fear that is the opposite.

As I was writing about the things I want to transcend, I realized that most of the things that we want to overcome can be reduced down to a fear. Let’s say, for example, that I want to overcome a concern about what others think of me. That’s reasonable. But where does that concern come from in the first place? Fear, right? Fear that if someone thinks something negative then I’ll be shunned, rejected, left. So isn’t it really from the fear that I would have to be liberated first?

Fear, though, gets forgotten as our attention and our “treatments” gets directed to what are really just the manifestations of the fear. We end up being held back from knowing the fullness of our Selves and the beauty of our dreams because the underlying fear isn’t addressed. Imagine if that fear was gone. What if the prospect of rejection, neglect, and abandonment just wasn’t scary in the first place? What if you weren’t scared of loss, of death, of pain? Sounds pretty liberating.

In my experience, the first step to getting free from fear is recognizing that it’s there. When you think you are upset by something, try being still and asking our mind and your body what they are really scared of. Accept the answer you get without judgement and with great compassion. Connect with your belief in a higher power that is interested only in your greatest good. Then you are ready to begin to let that fear go.

Some fears are easy to change simply by CHOOSING to believe in something different. For example, if I declare that I believe in all things working together for good, it is much easier for me to release the fear of failure, because even “failures” must be part of the good that is unfolding. They lose their power.

Other fears of course aren’t so easy to let go of. The process might be longer, but it is the same in principle. No matter what your belief system is, if you sit with compassion and listen to the pain that resides in you, asking it what it needs and offering YOUR love to it, I believe that it must dissipate. Because love does cast out fear.

Media credit: Leah Piken Kolidas

Besides your own liberation and accessibility to your dreams, there is another benefit to realizing that fear is the opposite of love: you begin to have more compassion for others.

I have someone in my life who must have been sent to teach me about loving others! I sometimes find this person to be condescending or dismissive toward me which then triggers sensitivities in me and make me feel hostile toward her. It’s a terrible, but common cycle. This morning, as I was thinking about my experiences with her, these realizations about fear  entered my mind at the same time and I realized that the two are related. I realized that just as I have fears that lead me to operate in less than love, so too does everyone.

As I reconceptualize her condescension as a product of fear–hers and mine–I can feel compassion for the two of us. We become reduced to our essences…two souls traveling in this journey on Earth together and navigating our experiences with our own level of consciousness at this point in time and space. Separateness becomes comradery. We’re in this together! Why be cells that are battling against each other when we can come together and form something new??

Of course she may not have the same realization, but suddenly that doesn’t matter. I recognize and express gratitude for our connection and I embrace her in a protective, prayerful energy that genuinely desires her highest good. It feels good to be free. And to let her be free as well.

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I have been receiving a lot of wonderful, simple insights during my times of prayer and meditation. I post these most frequently on our Facebook page so don’t forget to visit us there. You are all such joy to me. May you be free from fear today!

It’s Not That Serious

“If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.”

-Robert Frost

Don’t go insane today.

Find something, somewhere to laugh about and change your atmosphere with the sound of your own joy.

If you need some help, try this out. A flier on a street in Venice last week. Thanks to A.E. for sharing it with me.