Rise & Whine Becomes Rise & Shine

“The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert’s seventh symphony. And I’ve rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face.”
― Stephen Fry

I asked a friend who is searching for a passion-producing career the obvious question, “Well what do you love doing?” One of the first things on his list was: Sleeping.

Fair enough.

I love sleeping too! I wish I could get 9 hours of sleep a night while also being able to be a night owl since I’m so productive in the evenings and be able to rise early to enjoy the dawning of a new day without the pressure to rush into it. Alas, that hasn’t worked out for me. I inevitable and invariably snooze and burrow under the covers until the very last minute possible.

So, dear readers, this new month brings me to a new intention on my Here I Am journey. I don’t believe in the myth of the early bird, but I do know that I will be closer to my best me if I begin my day with some calm, centering activities instead of rushing off to work. And don’t forget, approaching your best you means the betterment of your life, of the lives of those in your sphere, and of the world at large. That is not hyperbole! It is true! After this past month of amazing spiritual growth and elevation which continues and will remain, I am eager to bring healing and balance to every part of my life where malaise or imbalance exist. I want to get in there and get it worked out!  So for this month I’m letting “rise and whine” become “rise and shine!”

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Getting out of bed earlier than I have to…this is a monumental feat of will and focus!! That is also not hyperbole! Okay, maybe a little. It is HARD for me though. Like my friend, I LOVE sleep. But let’s not be naive…it isn’t just that I love sleep. There are other reasons I have a hard time getting up. Most of them related to stress, anxiety, and worry that I allow to live in me. It takes me a while to fall asleep because of thinking about the next day. I have very vivid and VERY stressful dreams that leave me feeling like I’ve been working overtime by the time I wake up. Then I arise and almost instantly feel stressed about something awaiting me in my day. That all sounds awful doesn’t it?! It’s hard for me to even believe that is me when I see it written.

The good news is that for the last month, I have politely escorted stress and worry out of my mind and soul one room at a time. It feels amazing to fall asleep soundly and to wake up with more joy and excitement for the day than I am used to. I still have very stressful dreams and I’m not sure what to do about that yet, but two out of three isn’t bad!

Despite these great changes, I STILL have a hard time opening my eyes when that alarm goes off. I still feel like I need a nap after all those frenetic dreams. So, knowing how hard this month would be, I decided that I better make a calendar for myself to help me along. Remember, there is no guilt in Here I Am…just curiosity, compassion, attention, and intention. This is NOT a calendar for gold stars; it IS a “calendar of perspective” to help me see and grasp how few days really make up a month, how far I’ve come, and that the world won’t end if one day passes without a perfect performance. The next day and its fresh start will dawn.

I won’t lie. The first two days of the month I slept right through that snooze button and right through my intention to get up early to have Me time. But yesterday came, April the 3rd, and TA-DA! I was up. I was meditating. I was stretching out. I was sipping a cup of coffee. It felt marvelous. (Interestingly, the night before I did an energy clearing meditation with mudras which is supposed to help you sleep.) Now I’m looking forward to discovering what lies ahead for me in these morning hours. I feel like I’ve discovered a whole new part of the day that I had forgotten even existed. Good morning, sunshine!

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I don’t know if any of you are still doing your Here I Am intentions, but if you are then I connect with you now…from my heart to yours…and send you positivity and energy to propel you onward.

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Love, the Liberator

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates.”

- Maya Angelou

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Today I took a meditation hike. I listened to Vive’s album, Chakra Songs, and ended my walk on top of a ridge at Hollyridge trails.

Today’s meditation spot

I thought a lot about love up there and what can sometimes keep us from being able to love in the way we want to. Maybe you’re like me and have certain familiar walls up that impede the exchange of love between you and others. And by love I mean love that moves no matter context, no matter mood, no matter consequences. The “do unto others” and “turn the other cheek” kind of love. Today I decided that I’m tired of my walls. My walls have been defending me for a long time. Letting those come down puts me in all kinds of harm’s ways. Unfortunately, those same walls also keep me locked in.

I want to be liberated.

I believe that God is pure pure pure love.  There is no other ingredient in God but love and there is no other source of love but God. I believe that God’s love is unconditional. I know that showing and receiving that kind of love isn’t something you can fake or really even learn. Perhaps allowing (as opposed to concocting) unconditional love to flow in and out of me–which is really what it (i.e., God) wants to do anyway–is THE ultimate defense and simultaneously the ultimate liberation.

I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always thought that to love others meant letting myself get hurt and that somehow I would have to grin and bear that. It always meant being a martyr. Moreover, it was something I had to work really really hard at doing. But imagine answering hate with genuine love, answering betrayal with genuine love, answering neglect with genuine love. Imagine having a response of love be your nature.

Why can’t it be so?

One thing I have learned from years of trial and error, is that just saying a genuine “YES!” to what you feel bubbling up inside you makes the heavens and the earth respond. Things begin to happen. Changes occur. I have felt something bubbling up in my spirit and it has to do with this question of love. A new understanding is brewing.

So be it. Here I Am!

A woman offering up her heart for the divine intentions inside and outside of me to do what they will for love. I say YES to the challenge of letting old defensive walls crumble, and I know that the universal response will not disappoint. I surrender my human efforts and wait for a path to appear. Let’s see what happens!

Heavy Light Quotes

The month continues! I have been reveling in my alone times with God, as well as times of community. Most recently, I’ve been experiencing some crazy stuff that makes me just super duper excited and full of joy. (Please remember that I did warn you about how amazing it can be to give some attention and intention to your spiritual life!) (Also, ugh, it’s midnight and I’m exhausted and I can’t come up with more interesting words than “super duper excited.” Forgive me, blogosphere!) contemplating the concept of each of us having a light inside of us. Let’s leave it at that for now.

In contemplating and studying, I’ve read so many beautiful words about light. Some of them have resonated deeply with me and I thought I would share them with you.

People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.

~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

~Maori Proverb

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

~Anthony J. D’Angelo

His high endeavors are an inward light

That makes the path before him always bright.

~William Wordsworth

Into my heart’s night

Along a narrow way
 I groped; and lo! the light,

An infinite land of day.

~Rumi

When my heart is heavy, the sun helps make it light.

~Terri Guillemets

He that has light within his own clear breast

May sit i’ the centre, and enjoy bright day:

But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts

Benighted walks under the mid-day sun;

Himself his own dungeon.

~John Milton

The true yogi is one who is like a lion with himself, always striving to eradicate that which shadows his inner light, and like a lamb with others, always striving to see their inner light, no matter how dense may be the clouds that hide it. He is the king of the jungle of his world. He hides from no one and seeks escape from nothing. (88)”

~ Prem Prakash

For more great quotes, visit our Said and Done category. Also, don’t forget to share Life As a Wave with your Facebook friends! We appreciate you connecting with us. Much love.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

― Anaïs Nin

What an amazing experience it has already been turning my attention to the spiritual more fully and consistently as part of Here I Am. Things are happening! Where to even begin?

How about with the mystery of coincidence? As I began this month of spiritual intention, I knew from experience that I would be encountering “coincidences” connecting that which would be growing in me (you can’t not grow when you sincerely seek truth) and what I encountered in the world around me. I knew this because it is true that we see things as we are. If we are watching with our spiritual selves we begin to detect the amazing spiritual synchronicity that surrounds us and even seeks us out. If we are watching with our physical eyes only, those synchronicities aren’t so obvious.

Sometimes these coincidences are unmistakable. Sometimes they are almost imperceptible. Today I experienced both. The first was blatant! In a recent prayer time, I was repeatedly reminded of the newness of each moment, including my own newness moment by moment. I saw the truth of newness differently. It made more sense to me. And there was a scripture from Revelations that was embedded in my heart for the next few days: “Behold, I make all things new.” Then today I attended a service at Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, a wonderful trans-denominational center that I have not visited in almost a year. The title of the monthly theme, as it turns out, is “Ever True — Ever New,” and what scripture do you think the speaker kept returning to?  That is the kind of synchronicity that will make you sit up and listen.

But today also brought a smaller and for me sweeter coincidence. I was reading a story to my 2 year-old niece before naptime. She picked out a book called, “Scaredy Squirrel.” The last time I read this book was, again, almost a year ago.

As we nuzzled on the floor reading, I got to the part where the agoraphobic Scaredy Squirrel is finally forced to leave his comfort zone, jump into thin air, only to discover that he is “no ordinary squirrel” but in fact a flying squirrel! (What better analogy for enlightenment could there be?!)

The illustrations, the words, even the sound of my own voice as I read sent a rush of spiritual acknowledgement through me. It was the feeling of connection. This particular connection was to a vision that I experienced last week during prayer. In this vision I myself had taken a plunge off a cliff and found myself not falling as I expected, but swimming through the air. I was without limitations and unshackled from all fear. I had to smile as I read this page and saw Scaredy Squirrel embrace his newfound identity with great joy. I am no ordinary squirrel! (And neither are you, by the way.)

All of this to say that the big and little coincidences that cross our paths are worthy of our attention. They emerge in the most unexpected times and places, and yet if your intention is to see them then you bet you can expect them! And what are they after all? I am convinced that they are NOT coincidences but something more. They are the infinite speaking to us and guiding us on our odd and mysterious ways. They are signposts. Listen and watch and you will know what they mean.

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Well, get ready for more of these types of posts in the upcoming weeks! How can I not share them? In my life, I have found the pursuit of truth and communion with the divine to be the most exhilarating and excellent pursuit. Uncontested. And my great, great amount of gratitude for being able to take part in that pursuit silences me quite often in my times of communion.

I wish you all a blessed week. May yours be full of signposts to bless you and remind you that your journey is important.

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Month 3: The G Word

Has it really been a month since I’ve added a new post?? I’ve missed it here! If you recall, my last month of Here I Am was devoted to “putting down the crutch” (i.e., trying to break an addiction, for those of you who are just tuning in.) Well, I did…for two weeks. Honestly, I just wasn’t as vigilant as I could have been. But in the true spirit of Here I Am, I am not dwelling on excuses or failures, nor am I miring myself in guilt. The infamous lockbox remains on my list. I will tackle it again another month, with greater vigilance.

The good news is that I refuse to leave without a lesson. I’m not a huge Mraz fan, but I do like his line: “I reckon it’s again my turn to win some or learn some.” No losing, just learning. The first lesson I learned from Month 2 is that simply writing a mantra ain’t gonna cut it! I looked back and read my post from last month and realized that I had totally forgotten the beautiful and sincere mantra I had written. Next time, that mantra needs to be taped to my mirror, carried in my purse, used as my screensaver. I need to wrap myself daily in the encouraging thoughts that come from IN ME! (P.s., thank you so much to the people that encouraged my along the way last month. Don’t loose faith! I’ll be back for some more soon!)

The second lesson I learned is that I hold my crutch the tightest when I feel like there is less to rejoice for, when hopelessness begins to creep in. On those days, I am convinced by the inner voice saying, “Meh, what does it matter?” Some days I wonder how I could possibly think like that!! Others it seems to make so much sense. I realized that the times in my life when I have most easily put down my crutch are the times when I am the most connected to God. This leads me to Month 3. (Yes, the “month” is supposed to begin on the 12th. Ideally it would have. But, I am reinventing the Here I Am calendar in the freedom I have to do so and saying, “So begins Month 3 on this wonderful day, February 23rd!!”)

Now, if the big G word makes you nervous, don’t fear; I won’t be preaching to you on Life As a Wave. I know what I mean when I say, “connecting to God.” What you mean by that may look, sound, feel different than my experience. Maybe you don’t use the word “God.” The result should be the same though, right?  A sense of peace, love, hope, freedom, purpose. What I am emphasizing is an intentional, daily practice of pursuing this connection. For me that involves prayer, music, meditation, being in the moment, study and community. That is what this month is for. I cannot wait!! From my experience, there is literally nothing that can compare to connecting with that which is the highest, grandest, wisest, loveliest, mightiest, most gracious, and most boundless thing that exists. Once you invite that, and recognize that it lives within you….forget about it! You’re hooked! Now that is a kind of addiction I can get behind. You might ask why something so beautiful and empowering would need to be on my list? Wouldn’t I just want to float around in that all day every day?? What a good question. I will just quote St. John to explain the trappings of the day-to-day life on Earth that can so easily distract us from the things that are eternal:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

There you have it. I’m human. But here’s to Month 3! A devotion to the superhuman. I hope to include more frequent updates with all of you along the way. Stay tuned and as always, thank you for your being part of Life As a Wave.

With love,

~~~S Wave~~~

Month 2: Putting Down the Crutch

I’ve been stalling on writing a new post because this newest month of Here I Am! is both personal and challenging. Even on this blog that offers some anonymity I hesitate to share the part of my life that will be receiving my attention and intention this month.

But before I dive into that, I want to share that month 1 went swimmingly! If you recall, my first month was focused on my body, my physical health, and my appreciation of this beautiful tent that I have been given. And what a month it was! Yes, I set up an exercise routine that I am still in. Yes, I began to educate myself about calories (boring!). Yes, I feel stronger, more confident, and more in control. I learned that my entire daily exercise regiment could be beaten to a pulp and tossed into the ditch by the number of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups that I like to consume every night. So we had to break up.

It’s not you, peanut butter cup, it’s me.

But the most important thing that came from this first month was a reinforcement of my sense of empowerment. I was reminded that “we have the power to choose moment by moment who and how we want to be in the world.” (See our facebook page for the source of that magnificent quote!) It was this self-assurance in month 1 that has led me to take on a much bigger intention in month 2. On my Here I Am! list there is a lockbox, number 7.

My list of intentions

This intention is private and locked away for only my consideration. It is an intention to break a dependency, to drop an unhealthy crutch on which I have leaned on for a long time. For this month, I will allow myself to spread my arms and stretch in the freedom that I can have without that crutch. I will stir up the power that is inside me and all around me that tells me to have courage, put down my crutch and , “Walk!” If any of you have tried to do this before—let go of an addiction which, by the way, can come in all shapes and sizes—then you know that even day 1 can seem like torture!

credit: http://www.boyinpinkearmuffs.com/banapplenut/comic/addiction/

So now more than ever it is important for me to reiterate to myself and to you, dear readers, that making a change like this requires grace…not just the grace of God but your own grace toward yourself. Therefore, this is my mantra, my prayer, for this month:

I am thankful for this month of thoughtfulness.

I embrace the challenge, knowing that I am surrounded by love.

In me is all the strength and love that is needed to walk freely and without addiction.

I do not judge myself for weakness but simply notice the thoughts and desires in my body and mind. Always with love.

A new vision and calling awaits me as I decide, moment by moment, who and how I am in this world.

Lastly, I want to leave you with this thought, lest you feel that this journey I have been writing about is unrelated to our theme of connectedness. I believe that there are times in life when we must grasp the reins of our own choices, actions, words, habits and redirect ourselves once again in order to be prepared to step into the next opportunity for giving, sharing, healing. When we are our better self then we spread that betterment to others. The connections we make in the visible and invisible realms are then blessed with more authenticity and grace. There must be a beautiful quote about that somewhere out there! If you find it, let me know.

As always, thank you for reading.

With love inside and out,

~~~S Wave~~~

Month 1: Loving My Body!!!

My list of intentions

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Okay, I promise not to send a daily update, but I do want to write briefly about the kick-off to the HERE I AM! experience that we’ve just started. Last night I spent the evening with my sister and brother-in-law, sitting by a fire and writing out our intentions for the month-by-month, change-welcoming, gratitude-buliding, growth-sparking, connection-forming journey that is HERE I AM! We shared our ideas with each other until finally we each had a list that we felt reflected our most pressing inner desires.

My sister receiving some help with her list.

And so today begins day one of month one. My first intention is exercise. The universe gave me a nudge to make this my first intention through an innocent comment made by an acquaintance yesterday. In what might be the most horrifying social moment (for both the speaker and the receiver) one can find oneself in, a woman I know paused her cell phone conversation, looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Oh! Are you expecting?” After I recovered from the complete brain combustion that followed, I politely laughed with her about the whole misunderstanding and we both tried to bounce back by profusely explaining that it must have been due to the flowing, baby-doll cut blouse that I was wearing that day (which I have now gladly donated to my sister, who is expecting.) That’s all I needed, universe. Got it. Exercise it is!

Behind this intention of Exercise is a desire to love my body and to honor this temple that I have been given. These are the only feet that I have to walk me through this life; the only hands I have to embrace others, to clap with the beat, and to raise in joy; the only lungs I have to bring me the breath of life; the only muscles I have to allow me to work, explore, and be helpful; the only throat I have to speak. I want to be fit, spry, flexible, ready to go. I specifically intend to not base my judgement of my progress on what I might look like to other people, but how I feel about my strength, power and health. As the process takes place, I will be patient and I will send positive, appreciative thoughts to my soft tummy and my dimpled thighs. I will love love love what I have while giving it more of what it needs.

I will explain the other intentions as their times come.  But before I go, I want to express my support to anyone who is also doing a list of their own. Remember to be gentle and loving. Keep your eyes open for the signs and wonders that might just be shown to you as you set your intention on the good and worthy things of life. To celebrate this first day of HERE I AM!, here is a little something to encourage you onward (wink):

12-12-12

UPDATE (12/12/12):

Since these last two posts that introduced my HERE I AM! plan, I have heard from a number of you telling me that you also will be writing your own list of intentions. I just want to say how honored I am to be included in this exciting and sacred journey that you are embarking on. Whether there are big changes ahead for you, small steps that you will take, or simply increased awareness about your life, I send you all my encouragement and love. I’m right there with you and look forward to hearing about your experience.

~~~S Wave~~~

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After writing about my HERE I AM list in yesterday’s post (don’t forget to read it!), I was left wondering when I should write my list. As soon as possible? January 1st? Midmonth? I left the questions to answer themselves. (A good thing to practice, by the way.)

And then a friend pointed out to me that tomorrow is 12/12/12. She said that she is planning on writing out her own HERE I AM! list of intentions tomorrow because it “feels like a strong spiritual day.” I couldn’t agree more! It was a lovely coincidence because my sister and I were planning on being together on the evening of 12/12/12 and after reading the post, she said she may feel inspired to write one as well. What a beautiful evening it will be then! And yet a third perk for choosing tomorrow: I will now  have an easily remembered date on which to rotate to a new intention. January 12th, February 12h, March 12th…and so on.

So that was decided. Tomorrow night, there will be a special little ceremony as we listen to our hearts, write our lists, and bless them with some words of kindness, gentleness and faith. Then begins the first month of

HERE I AM!

Out of curiosity, I did want to see if 12/12/12 had any special spiritual meaning. Oh, the things you can find on the internet! But instead of summarizing them here, I am instead going to tell you: make the day what YOU want it to be. Celebrate, pray, love, panic…..in the end, what you expect is probably to some extent what you are going to get. So choose wisely! I know I am.

“I am here” or “HERE I AM!”

Life loves the liver of it.

-Maya Angelou

Two years ago, in autumn, I saw a commercial for Dove. A woman is going to an elegant party. As she glides down the spiral staircase in her gown her eyes and slumping shoulders give away her inner insecurity and fear. The colors on the screen are dull and washed. Her hair is supposed to look equally dull.

“Does your hair say ‘I am here’? Or…”

Suddenly the picture changes to bright colors. The woman transforms by flashing a big smile, pulling her shoulders back and flipping that now shimmering hair,

“Or does it say, ‘Here I am!’?”

The ad made me think about something other than hair. It made me think about the difference between walking through a day (or forbid, a life) in an “I am here” energy versus a “Here I am!” energy. There are days when at the moment my head hits the pillow I would have to honestly confess that it has been an I Am Here day. I have gone through motions. I have done what my schedule required me to do. Maybe I had little connection to others…probably little intentional connection to God. Possibly all because of and certainly resulting in a feeling of malaise and disappointment.

Well, two years ago in October, after seeing this commercial, I decided that I wanted to have more Here I Am! days. I knew there were things in my life that were out of balance. So I gave myself a challenge. I wrote my HERE I AM! list of intentions.  It was an inventory of things that I would like to add or alter in my life. For example, I wanted to reduce the amount of time I spent in front of screens and replace it with time spent with books. I wanted to exercise. I wanted to call old friends. I wanted to give more. For each intention on my list, I designated a month during which I would lend my awareness, my love, and my discipline to it.

For the next four months amazing things happened. I felt like I had shed some skin and I  could feel a renewed hope and positivity. What I was sending out was returning to me. There were inexplicable alignments in life that took place around that time. I met people that I believe I needed to meet. Questions were answered. Growth took place. I wasn’t making it into a fervent, you’ll-get-a-gold-star-IF kind of task. The whole thing was just for me. It was just between God and me.

Now, these few years later, I can feel a desire stirring in me again. A desire to welcome change in my life through intentional awareness and love. It’s not just about a list of goals, and it’s not about New Year’s resolutions (although, ironically, it might be turning into that.) It is simply time to shine the HERE I AM! light no matter where I am and prepare for what is waiting for me for my good, for the good of others, for the good of my community and (why not!) the world. I want to go toward those things with calm, confidence, and curiosity.

Long story short: I am making a new HERE I AM! list of intentions.I’ll be starting soon and look forward to sharing insights with you all.

Do you want to imagine a HERE I AM! vision of your own? Do it! Write it down in a secret private place. Read it to God and to your own heart. Seal it with a prayer and put it in a special place. Send it out there and do your part: acknowledge your intentions in your words, actions, and thoughts. Then just wait to see what happens. I’ll  be encouraging you in spirit and prayer.

Freedom by Zenos Frudakis

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Dear friends,

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~~~Waves~~~